the one that makes me scream

a blog about crafts, cats, food & sex...
okay, and maybe some blind rants re: everything that pisses me off.

 

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theoriginalsettler:

I had this image rolling around in my head earlier so I went to the craft store and bought some paint and a canvas tote. I rather like it!

love this

  1. Cut the page lengthwise into nine 3/4-inch-thick strips of heights shown: Three at 11 inches, three at 10 inches, two at 9 inches, and one at 3 1/2 inches.
  2. Twist each strip to form loops at both ends. Make a circle out of the smallest.
  3. Secure the ends with a piece of double-sided tape.
  4. Layer and stick, starting with the longest strips. End with the circle in the center.

(via How to make a gift bow | Bits Pieces | 100 Layer Cake)

Crochet Leaf Tutorial

Loop knot 

When using just two threads, work a loop knot by cutting a length of thread twice as long as you need it to be and folding in half. Thread  your needle as normal and make a half cross stitch. As you pull your thread through the reverse of your fabric,carefully loop your needle through the thread loop to secure. This is a really great way to start stitching without having to tie a knot! 

(via Learn the basics of cross-stitch :: allaboutyou.com)

(via tissue paper flowers)

- - - 

I’m going to make L a bouquet of daisies for our TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY in October.

TEN YEARS. WHAT?!

Gonna make L a bouquet of paper flowers. There’s no reason why I need to give her flowers that will die w/in a couple of weeks. 

I don’t understand why people give plants/flowers as gifts—things that die (not potted plants/flowers. It’s like, here, lemme give you something that signifies death and dying.

Materials:
Worsted weight Yarn
F hook
Fiber Fill
Yarn Needle 
Scissors
Gauge: not very important but…..if you would like your heart to measure 2 1/4” tall and 2 1/4” wide then your guage should measure 8 sc’s and 10 rows = 2” square
consider wisely ( :

Crochet Heart
Ch 2
Rnd 1 – work 4sc’s in 2nd ch from hook. (4)
Rnd 2 – (sc in next, 2sc in next) repeat around. (6)
Rnd 3 – (sc in next 2, 2sc in next) repeat around. (8)
Rnd 4 – (sc in next, 2sc in next) repeat around. (12)
Rnd 5 – (sc in next 2, 2sc in next) repeat around. (16)
Rnd 6 – (sc in next 3, 2sc in next) repeat around. (20)
Rnd 7 – (sc in next 4, 2sc in next) repeat around. (24)
Rnd 8 – sc in each st around. (24)
Rnd 9 – sc in next 6, skip next 12, sc in last 6
Rnd 10 – sc in each st around. (12)
Rnd 11 – (sc in next, sc2tog) repeat around. (8)
Rnd 12 – sc2tog around. (4)
Fasten off and weave in ends.

Stuff your heart and first heart bump a bit and continue on with second heart bump. 
(Don’t stuff too much so your fuzz doesn’t interfere with working your Second heart bump)


Second heart bump

Insert hook and pull up a loop and ch 1 (See second photo up)
Rnd 1 – sc in same st as your ch 1 and in next 11. (12) (see first photo up)
Rnd 2 – sc in each st around. (12)
Rnd 3 – (sc in next, sc2tog) repeat around. (8)
Stuff heart the rest of the way.
Rnd 4 – sc2tog around. (4)
Fasten off and weave in ends.
If you have unsightly holes in between the heart bumps then use one of your tails to weave holes shut.
- - - 
I can see myself altering these hearts into tits and asses… :/

(via EASY: Crochet Pattern - Little Heart Plushy)